Family mediation is a method of resolving the issues surrounding the end of a marriage relationship. Family mediation uses a neutral third person or persons who create a process to assist the parties in identifying and solving issues, such as property division and child parenting time. The third parties are not judges. They do not impose a solution, such as a judge would do.

Family mediation is a voluntary process. This means that if a party does not wish to participate, then the mediation is over. The parties can then proceed with the litigation involved with a divorce.

Family mediation is confidential. Unlike a divorce action, where court filings are public records, the divorce mediation and the events and filings are not subject to public scrutiny. There are some exceptions to the confidentiality agreement where criminal activity has occurred or is threatened.

Family mediation can be less expensive than divorce litigation. This is especially so in the case of a contested divorce. The parties are empowered to work together to work out agreements. Contested divorces may require depositions, interrogatories, and other discovery methods.

Family mediation is not appropriate for every case. Cases involving domestic violence, child abuse or neglect, or substance abuse are not good candidates for divorce mediation. Parties will be individually screened according to a domestic violence protocol developed by the Michigan Supreme Court.

Parties still need their own attorneys in family mediation. A judgment of divorce can ONLY be granted by a court, not by a mediator.

Family mediation has proven to be a more satisfactory way for families to resolve disputes and obtain divorces. Parents who mediate are less likely to file post judgment motions. Mediation has also been shown to be an affordable option for most people since mediation, on average, costs parties less than traditional attorney negotiation and representation. Most importantly, parents are better prepared to co-parent their children together following divorce if they have avoided the stress and ill-will which litigation can exacerbate.

Once both parties have agreed to a mediator, a one on one orientation session with each party is held. This is where the mediation process is described, the domestic violence screening is done, and the party is provided with a "homework" assignment which consists of a list of questions regarding information about the minor children (if any) and personal and marital property.

At the next sessions (usually 3 to 4), both parties will be involved with the process of establishing child custody, parenting time, and property (and debt) division. Ideally, at the end process there will be an agreement that both parties worked to create and which can become part of the judgment of divorce.

Sometimes the parties can only come to a partial agreement. There may be some issues that the parties cannot agree on. In this case, there are some mediators who will agree to provide an evaluative mediation. This is where the mediator offers his/her opinion of what the outcome should be and the parties can agree or disagree with the mediators opinion.

Sometimes parties want to have an issue or issues submitted to a arbitrator or private judge for a binding decision. This is called domestic relations arbitration. The parties agree beforehand that the award of the arbitrator is final (and not subject to appeal in most circumstances). There is a arbitration hearing (trial) and the parties and/or their attorneys can present evidence to the arbitrator. The arbitrator then makes a binding decision which is enforceable in court, if need be.

Divorce mediation can be used at any time in the divorce process. It may be used when the parties have decided to end their marriage, but before they have filed for divorce. It may be used after the filing of the complaint for divorce, but before the trial. It may also be used after the divorce has been granted.

My experience is that the attraction or divorce mediation by individuals going through a divorce is that parties control what the outcome looks like. They are empowered to be creative. They are empowered to create a unique solution that meets their particular needs. This is very different from the experience of many of my clients in the court system, where they felt that they had little control over the outcome.

If you would like more information about family mediation, please contact:

Michael Boersma

Attorney and Family Mediator

The Law Office of Michael E. Boersma, PC

9803 Sunnywood Dr.

Kalamazoo, MI 49009-7967

(269) 720-1409